


Promise Not to Be Mad

by witchymarvelspacecase



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-18 00:35:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19965823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchymarvelspacecase/pseuds/witchymarvelspacecase





	Promise Not to Be Mad

Bucky had fallen asleep in the common room. He’d been watching a movie with Sam, Wanda, and you. When he opened his, Sam and Wanda were both gone, and the TV was turned off. There was a blanket over his shoulders, and your head was in his lap. He didn’t remember you being that way before he fell asleep, but he was pleasantly surprised. There was a blanket draped over you too. Bucky suspected Sam was behind the blankets, but knew he’d never admit to it.

Sunlight was just starting to spill through the windows of the tower and the rays lit up the dust motes in the air, making them seem to sparkle. Subtle highlights in your hair sparkled too. The light brushed you face softly, giving you an otherworldly glow. Bucky wished he had some of Steve’s talent just then; he didn’t even have a camera handy.

And the moment wasn’t long-lived either. No sooner had Bucky made a conscious effort to commit the beauty before him to memory, than an alarm began blaring throughout the tower. 

You shot up out of his lap, or at least, you tried to. The blanket tangled around you and caused you to flop unceremoniously on the floor.

“Mornin’ sunshine,” Bucky chuckled. 

You gave him a tired glare which would have been much more fearsome had you not been sporting sleep marks on your face from the creases in Bucky’s pants. 

He helped you up and you both sprinted to the conference room.

“Ah, sleeping beauty,” Sam called as you entered the room. You weren’t sure who Sam was referring to, but you flipped him off anyway, before directing your attention to Steve and Tony. 

“U.N. compound is under attack. They don’t have the resources to defend themselves, and we’re pretty sure the attackers have ties to more than one international terrorist organization, so we’re up. Wheels up in 20.”

The file you picked up as you boarded the quinjet told you more. An untold number of insurgents with automatic weapons and some alien tech were hitting the U.N.. The building was in some tiny European country you’d never heard of, but there were more than a few dignitaries in residence at the moment, and this had all the potential to become a war if not handled properly.

“Couldn’t have waited an hour before they attacked< I was having a good dream,” you grumbled as you strapped into your seat.

“Well you certainly looked comfy enough, cuddling up with Bucky n’ all.”

“Shut up, Steve.”

“Well ya were,” Steve smiled as he continued teasing you. 

Honestly, you’d been pretty mortified that you’d fallen asleep on Bucky like that. It would have been bad enough if Steve saw you, but the fact that Bucky had been awake and sen you? God you wanted to die. 

More than once you had the urge to cuddle with Bucky, more than once you had wanted nothing more than to lean into him, or hug him, but you just felt you couldn’t. You wouldn’t throw yourself at him like that. This wasn’t the first time Steve had teased you about this either. He knew how you felt about Bucky. More than one drunken, or emotional confession had poured form your lips, and Steve was always willing to listen. You would regret the confessions later though; he didn’t mean anything by his picking on you, but sometimes it was too much.

You looked away from Steve, checking your gear again to avoid his gaze.

“What, it’s sweet,” Steve continued. He sat next to you even though his chair was on the other side of the jet. _Jerk._ He wasn’t gonna let up.

“Let it go, Steve. I’m already embarrassed about it.”

“What’s there to be embarrassed about?”

When you looked up, ready to chew him out, you caught his expression. He looked genuinely confused. _Odd_. You’d thought he’d been making fun of you. But before you could ask him about it, Bucky boarded the jet. He was the last to board so take off was initiated. Steve moved to his assigned seat, next to Bucky, and you were left confused.

…

“Hey Buck,” Steve said quietly as the jet flew to the U.N. building, “why would she be embarrassed that I saw you two cuddle up this morning?” Bucly caught Steve’s nod in your direction, but he wasn’t sure what to say. His face must have said as much, because Steve continued. “I mean, we all know you like each other. I just figured you’d finally figured it out. She’s got no reason to be embarrassed.”

“You what?” Bucky practically shouted.

“What what?”

“Why would you think we were- what do you mean “like each other”?”

“Seriously? Aside from the fact that you both practically moon over each other? I am friends with both of you. I talk to both of you. I _know_ both of you,” Steve responded, exasperated.

“Yeah? And?”

“Think about how I know that you like her. Then ask yourself how I would know if she liked you.” Steve turned from Bucky’s lost face to look across the jet, a smirk on his lips.

Bucky didn’t have time to ponder that thought, final descent was called and everyone checked their gear one last time.

 _“After this,”_ Bucky thought. He could hear the chaos; gunshots and explosions already. _“After this is over, Stevie and I are gonna have a talk.”_ The sounds of battle increased in volume. Bucky met your gaze and you gave him a grin. His heart kicked in his chest. Could Steve be right? No _way_ did he deserve her, but if she chose him? _Fuck_ , he’d do anything for her. He returned her grin with a wink as the jet’s rear door lowered.

It felt like moments later, but in reality hours had passed. Most of the insurgents had been cleared out, and all the civilians had been moved into the compound, to safety. A steady rain had begun to pour from the sky making your jobs harder, but the team was down to the last handful of enemies when it happened. 

Bucky heard you shout for Wanda, saw you running for her, pushing her out of the way. Then nothing. He couldn’t hear the gunshots anymore. He couldn’t hear Steve yelling. All he could hear was the sound of his own breathing, and over that, the echo of your scream. He felt like it took him far too long to cross the field to you. He didn’t feel pain as his knees hit the ground beside you, and he didn’t notice how his pants grew damp with a combination of rain water and your blood. 

Your eyes were wide open, but it was like you couldn’t see. Bucky had his hands on either side of your face, cupping your cheeks, but you didn’t look at him until he called your name.

“Hey,” you said weakly, a grimace ruining the smile you tried to give Bucky.

“Hey yourself. I thought you said it was Sam’s turn to get shot?” Bucky tried to keep his tone light as he assessed you. He could barely see anything with the dark tac-suit you had on combined with the cloud filled sky. The frain made it hard to discern what was blood and what was water. For a moment he wasn’t sure you had been wounded at all, until his hand brushed your abdomen.

You gasped, then a pain filled whine fell from your lips as Bucky applied pressure to the heavily bleeding hole below your ribs. 

He called over the comms for someone, _anyone_. He needed to get you out, to get you help, but everyone was engaged. Bucky all but screamed. More insurgents appeared around him, and for a moment, Bucky hesitated. He knew if he took the pressure off your wound, you might die, but if he didn’t handle the attackers, you would both die.

He hesitated a moment too long.

You managed to pull a gun from your thigh holster, and put bullets into three of the attackers before any of them even noticed you. The moment one of the opposing gun barrels pointed at you, Bucky _moved._

Moments later, he stood over the fallen bodies of the insurgents. He hadn’t meant to kill any of them, at least not in the beginning. Now? Now, he didn’t bother to check any of them for vitals. Now, he moved quickly back to you.

Your color was awful. Where you’d once had a healthy glow, your skin was ashen. You were shaking slightly, and your lips had a bluish tint to them. Bucky’s knees hit the ground by your head and he carefully pulled you up so your shoulders were resting on his lap. 

“Did we get them all?” you asked. 

Bucky smiled, but tears were pooling in his eyes. “Yeah, we did. You got most of ‘em for me though, I just cleaned up.”

You tried to laugh, but it hurt so bad. You could barely breathe. Short, shallow pants were all you could manage.

Bucky’s fingers were gentle where they glided over your cheeks, wiping away the rain water, muck, and blood. You gave him a wan smile when one of his hands reached for yours, and you forced your non-responsive fingers to thread through his.

“Please don’t go.” Bucky’s whisper surprised you a little. 

“You had to know I wasn’t gonna live forever, Bucky. No one does.”

“You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live!” he yelled. He was angry, but not sure at whom.

“I’m tryin’,” you coughed and something warm trickled from your lips. “Promise you won’t be mad … if I fail?”

“I could never be mad at you, doll,” Bucky choked as tears spilled over his cheeks.

Sam and Steve appeared as your eyes closed. The rest of the insurgents had turned tail and run. The Avengers were pulling back into the compound. A flurry of activity ensued. Bucky was unaware of most of it. He saw you being placed on a gurney and taken away from him, and it was like his mind went blank. 

Next thing he knew, he was ensconced in a very uncomfortable plastic chair, staring at the blood encrusting his hands, as Steve paced in front of him.

…

Garbled announcements came over the P.A. Helen Cho power walked past him, and through a set of double doors, barely pausing to take a clipboard that the nurse offered to her. 

More and more people in scrubs dashed past, but Bucky could barely tell. All he could see was your smiling face turning into a pained grimace, and all he could hear was you asking him not to be angry with you.

It was all so very far away from where the day had begun. All he’d wanted a few hours ago was to tell you how beautiful you were. Now, maybe he’d missed his chance. He wouldn’t get to tell you, wouldn’t ever be able to kiss you if…

“Please live. Please,” Bucky whispered, his eyes shut tight against the hospital’s bright lights.

…

That was where Tony found him. Hunched over in a tiny chair, looking as if the weight of the world had fallen on his shoulders.

Tony knew that feeling, but he didn’t know how to help. Fortunately, Wanda walked in behind him. She stepped around Tony to crouch in front of Bucky.

“C’mon Bucky. We need to get you cleaned up before she wakes up. She’ll tell us all off for letting you sit around like this.” Wanda kept her tone soft, but her grip was firm as she tugged Bucky out of his chair, and down the hallway. Tony wondered is she may have used a bit of her powers, since Bucky didn’t utter a single protest at being removed from the area, but he didn’t ask, instead he walked over to stand next to Steve.

“Any news?” he asked.

“She’s lost a lot of blood, and there was damage to her stomach.” The men both looked out the window. “The doc was optimistic the last time I checked, but that was before she coded.” Steve shivered slightly.

“Little thing like that won’t stop her, Rogers,” Tony’s voice sounded sure. Steve wasn’t sure if he really believed that or not, but he nodded, _wanting_ to believe.

…

It was a few days later that the doctors gave the all clear for visitors. You hadn’t woken up, but the medical staff assured the team that you would soon. Bucky didn’t know if he believed them. He’d seen the blood, the wound. He couldn’t _stop_ seeing them. He wouldn’t leave the room you were in. Steve hadn’t told him that your heart had stopped, let alone that it had stopped twice, and he wasn’t planning on it either. Bucky only left your side to go to the bathroom, and only then if either Sam or Natasha was with you.

Bucky held your hand. Sometimes he would rub his thumb over the back of your hand, sometimes he would hold your hand up to his cheek. Sometimes he would kiss your knuckles. But he wouldn’t let go. Couldn’t.

He fell asleep like that, holding your hand to his cheek, with his head resting on your bed. HIs back would be killing him in the morning, but he hadn’t thought of that. HAdn;t intended to sleep at all.

When you woke, the lights were just a bit to bright, but when you tried to raise your hand to shield your eyes, you couldn’t move it. Squinting, you looked to your hand and noticed a few things. One, there was an ugly pink blanket that was certainly _not_ yours over you. Two, there was an I.V. in the back of your hand. And three, Bucky was under that hand, his hand on your wrist.

Raising your head slightly, you looked around. _Not my room._ Looking out the window you knew you weren’t even in the tower. You went to adjust your legs and an involuntary groan slipped from your mouth before you could stop it. 

Bucky’s head shot up. He looked around the room, checking for danger, and it took him a moment before he looked to you.

“Hey,” you croaked. Your voice was harsh with disuse, but Bucky clearly didn’t care. His hands came to either side of your face and he cupped your cheeks. You had a strange feeling of deja vu. Then your mind rolled back to the last thing you remembered. Bucky, pleading for you to live. “I’m okay Bucky. I’m okay.”

Bucky let out gasping breath and leaned forward, resting his forehead on yours. He pressed a kiss to the space between your eyes and his hands slid to the back of your head.

“Don’t you ever do that again.” His voice sounded gravely, like he was having a hard time talking. 

“I’ll do my best,” you promised, relaxing into the back of the bed, letting Bucky lean into you. “Promise not to be mad if I fail?”

Bucky pulled back then. His eyes stared straight into yours.His right hand came to the side of your face again before he leaned back towards you, but this time, he didn’t press his forehead to yours. This time he pressed his lips to yours. It was a brief, chaste kiss, but it was a kiss nonetheless. You blinked at him as he pulled back. When he started to look worried, you smiled at him and raised your hand to grasp his right wrist, squeezing gently. He returned your smile before pressing a longer kiss to your lips.

When he pulled back again he said, “I could never be angry at you, doll.”


End file.
